MY READING MADNESS

Everything I'm wearing in this picture is from the US... except my trusty bag. Seriously, this is how I been won follow Oga Dan go construction site to carry blocks. next-level overcomputation. See this innocent face of mine. It doesn't match my mouth at all. Come closer, and you'll see I have smooth vibes like chilled zobo juice. But once I trust you. Brother, I'm a full-time cruise director the ultimate fun package.

Now, let me tell you about my former life as a Book Bandit. By the young age you see me now, I'd already finished reading:

Long Walk to Freedom" (Nelson Mandela)

"Zambia Shall Be Free" (Freedom fighter mode activated!)

ALL military books on ECOMOG (Warrior mentality)

Rwanda Genocide chronicles (Heavy stuff on heavy stuff!)

Every African civilization book my hands could grab

All Egypt's ancient mysteries (Pyramid secrets included)

Gulliver's Travels (All that giant and tiny people drama)

Alice in Wonderland (Confusion inside like Lagos traffic jam)

48 Laws of Power (That's how I cover my tracks)

British & American literature classics (For balance, like mixing Fanta and Coke)

Tons of biographies of great men (Mostly dead ones, though)

I read until the bookworm nearly swallowed me whole. I got to the point where I'd walk down the street arguing with characters from the books like they were right beside me. My school grades, Forget it! I never touched First position, Second position, or even Third position... but mentally, my brain was doing a PhD while my classmates were learning the house fly diagram.

This book phase of my life was like a secret society. Before 25, I'd personally sunk over ₦300,000 into books. My mind was desperately searching for something that I cannot explain. I was hiding behind giant books. I even read the entire Holy Bible from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:21...three full times. Medical journals, History, Geography, Politics. I cracked them like peanuts. Maybe if I was in America or Europe they would have find a place for my type of madness. 

At age 12, I was already doing Peak Mad Scientist. I remember getting one Dead Wall Gecko, Broken Glasses, Those white sandy things from termite mounds. I Stuffed everything into a rubber bottle, sealed it tight like future treasure, and wrote. "OPEN AFTER 50 YEARS"...Guess what happened. I lost it in my dad's old compound. Some persons probably found it, thought it was Nollywood-style juju, sprinkled holy water and anointing oil on it, and threw it in the gutter. If I'd been in a Western country, they'd have called me a "Child Genius," given me a white lab coat. But in Naija. That's how they destroyed my future Nobel Prize 😭

At age 30, I finally jumped down from the book tree. I quit the reading marathon. My new focus is drinking red GARRI in peace and quiet. I donated mountains of books to students around me, leaving only a small shelf like a museum exhibit. For years now, I've been strictly off-book. I focus on what's necessary. survival.

Now, writing has grabbed me like a police checkpoint at midnight. I'm trying to kill that habit too. What do I really, really want. MONEY! I'm tired of telling cattle to move so I can scoop water to drink 😭😭

My ultimate dream is to build a beautiful house inside the Amazon Rainforest, sipping cold red wine, planting trees like a gardener who won the lottery. Simple billionaire life.

My official diagnosis is called Jonah Shallow a Fish.....beat me na 🥱

Until the moment when will shall dance in white Greater Grace.

Oyugbo Osagie Jonah 

#friday