THE SILENT POISON IN FAMILIES THE INHERIT HATRED

The Silent Poison in Families the Inherit Hatred.

There’s a toxic dynamic in almost every family that few discuss openly, parents who plant seeds of enmity among relatives or in-laws, and children who inherit that bitterness.  

I’ve always believed it’s better to have 200 enemies outside your home than one within your family. Why, Because children inherit these conflicts. The easiest way to win a family quarrel. Tell your children, That relative is evil. Don’t visit them. Don’t trust them.

Suddenly, cousins who’ve never met grow up estranged. Relatives avoid gatherings, refuse to share meals, or cut ties completely all while the younger generation has no idea why the hatred exists.  

Even pastors sometimes fuel this fire. They prey on vulnerable members, whispering, "Your in-laws are wicked" or "Your brother’s wife is plotting against you." These "visions" turn into self-fulfilling prophecies, isolating families and teaching children to shun their own blood.  

In my own journey having grown up in three very different families (one not even blood-related) I’ve seen this pattern everywhere. Yet family or religious conferences focus only on marital issues, while generational hatred grows unchecked.

I know families where one branch is fabulously wealthy while another lives in poverty all because siblings’ hatred blocks opportunities for their children. The real losers. Not the parents who started the feud, but the children who inherit it. Instead of uniting against the world, they battle their own kin in a pointless competition.  

Some cousins can’t celebrate each other’s wins because their parents painted the "other side" as villains. Hand them a pen to write what their relatives actually did to them. They’d have nothing to write.The grudges aren’t theirs they’re hand-me-down hatred.  

Yes, we’re wired to stand by our parents. But as adults, we must question inherited biases. Use wisdom,

Reach out cautiously (the world can be cruel).  

Balance empathy with discernment.

Break the cycle You hold the power to rebuild bridges or at least refuse to burn them.  

Don’t let yesterday’s battles steal tomorrow’s family.

Until the moment when will shall dance in white Greater Grace.

Oyugbo Osagie Jonah 

#weekend